Contest #2: Feeling Cleative?

~I don't know about you, but I'm feeling very "cleative" today:

^ This shop (?) is located in downtown Nagaoka. I looked around a bit, but was unable to determine exactly what kind of business "CLEATIVE SPOT! YOU" is. Perhaps it's an art supply store? A camera shop? A bar? Can anyone hazard a guess? I'll post the best guess that I receive in one week. ~Oyasumi!

It's Not Exactly Shaolin Soccer

~Despite their team's victory in the 2006 Wold Cup, Italian soccer has taken a beating of late. Numerous match-fixing scandals have reduced public confidence, and a particularly nasty riot in Sicily left a policeman dead and national matches canceled.

Fortunately, the Catholic Church is riding to the rescue by organizing a soccer tournament comprised of 311 priests, monks, and students from 50 nations, divided into 16 different teams. Needless to say, they hope to restore some "faith" to soccer in Italy, where soccer is practically as much a religion as the Church.

This is almost as good as the groups of rival, crowbar-wielding monks that were fighting over a monastery in Greece a few months ago. I looked around on the Internet but was unable to find out who won the fight. My guess is that they all found something better to do. Incidentally, "The Crowbar Monks" would be an excellent name for a rock band.

Anyway, the name of the soccer tournament is the Clericus Cup, which is also the award for the victorious team. The Cup runs through June, with most matches scheduled to take place at a Vatican soccer field. Interestingly, the match rules will differ slightly from professional soccer, with teams allowed only one timeout and the referees able to use blue cards in addition to the standard yellow and red cards (a blue card results in a 5-minute suspension). Apparently absent are any regulations on mid-match prayer or attempts to bribe the "big ref in the sky".

The first scheduled match takes place tomorrow (February 24), when Pontifical Gregorian University plays Pontifical International College Maria Mater Ecclesiae.

The Cup is being organized by Cardinal Bertone, the Vatican Secretary of State, who said: "I insisted to the managers in charge of the lads that the games should not overlap with Mass." Hence, matches will only be held on weekdays. ~Oyasumi!

...But Sometimes They Are

~Here's the last minute and a half from an old episode of "The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles". Here we see an older Dr. Jones from the 1950s:


^ Looks like someone snowed on their parade. Hey, that's "snow fair"! [Someone please stop me. Now.]

I can't wait for Indy 4! Filming begins this summer. Even at 64, I'm confident that Harrison Ford can pull off the role of Indy. I have the sudden urge to go back to DisneySea and ride "Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull" again and again and again...~Oyasumi!

Blatant Blackmail

~There are two big news items in Japan at the moment. The first is a transfer of twelve U.S. F-22 Raptors (the world's most advanced--and expensive--fighter jet) to Kadena Air Force Base in Okinawa. Hundreds of island residents turned out to protest the arrival of the jets, although they are only scheduled to be in Okinawa for three months. I don't know what all the fuss is about; seriously, there are over 50,000 U.S. soldiers in Okinawa, so what's a few more jets for a couple of months?

The F-22 is insanely powerful and expensive, the ultimate toy for my "Boys With Toys" theory. It has the capability to cruise at supersonic speeds, is supposedly invisible to radar, and can shoot down enemy planes before the pilot can even see them. Unfortunately, numerous cost overruns have resulted in a staggering cost of roughly $135 million per plane. But...but...it shoots missiles! And flies really fast! And it looks cool!

The other big news is the arrival of Vice-President Richard "Deadeye Dick" Cheney, who flew to Tokyo today on a diplomatic trip to Japan. He's supposed to talk with the Prime Minister and other bigwigs, to discuss security issues. My guess is that he's really here to bully the Japanese into coughing up more cash for the Iraq war.

Japan supplied only non-combat troops for logistical support in Iraq as part of the "coalition of the willing" (don't forget Poland!), but they're paying for part of the reconstruction of what we broke. For example, during the 1991 Gulf War, Japan ended up contributing approximately $14 billion, or about 20% of the total cost of the war.

Now I know what Hiroo Onoda was talking about when he said "We are so careful and let others devour so much, yet they are always hungry for more from Japan. "

At any rate, the other big issue that Cheney is supposed to discuss is the result of the recent negotiations with North Korea. You may have read in the newspaper that America scored a major diplomatic victory by convincing North Korea to give up its nuclear weapons. If that's what you read or thought, be aware that it's complete BS. This was a total North Korean diplomatic victory.

In exchange for "giving up" their nuclear program, they're going to get 50,000 tons of oil delivered in the next 60 days, along with the energy/aid equivalent of 950,000 tons of oil in the near future. This might sound familiar, because it's exactly what happened over decade ago in 1994...and the North Koreans kept building their program, culminating in the detonation of a small nuclear bomb a few months ago. This is nothing but nuclear blackmail, and everyone here knows it.

The general sentiment in Japan is that the U.S. completely copped out, pursuing the quickest path to a perceived diplomatic victory in order to claim success...and allow them to focus more on Iraq. Although Japan participated in the negotiations, the nation is refusing to supply any of the aid to North Korea until they supply information about the Japanese citizens abducted by North Korea over the past few decades. I don't blame them...but Japan has little choice to accept the result of the negotiations, because they're totally dependent on the U.S. for security.

On the other hand, what else are we supposed to do? Starve the North Koreans, until they get so mad and hungry that they attack South Korea with their massive army or start lobbing missiles (possibly nuclear) at Japan? The whole "we do not negotiate with terrorists" spiel sounds tough and manly, but in reality, it just doesn't work. The United States does, has, and will continue to negotiate with and capitulate to blatant terrorists, provided our attention is focused elsewhere.

So let's all Hail to the Vice-Chief, 'cause he's the chief and he needs hailing! ~Oyasumi.

I Can Fly To The Sky

~More bizarro Japanglish today, this time from a parking lot billboard outside of Nagaoka Station:

"I can fly
to the sky"
Love me little, Love me long!!

*Truly* disturbing. ~Oyasumi!

Year of the Golden Boar

~Happy New Year, everyone! In the Chinese calender, 2007 is the Year of the Boar (inushishi in Japanese). You may have heard that 2007 is the Year of the Pig, but this is an oversimplification. A boar is a wild pig, not domesticated or restrained. He's covered with hair, has powerful legs and jaws, and a set of killer tusks that have sent many would-be hunters to a quick and grisly demise.

The boar is considered a very noble animal, both in the Orient and in Europe, where hunting boars was considered a sport worthy of kings. Boar hunting, however, is a dangerous sport which occasionally proved fatal. In a more modern sense, boars are an excellent food source should you find yourself stranded on a jungle island in the Pacific.

Anyway, 2007 isn't just the Year of the Boar, it's a Year of the Golden Boar, which happens only once every sixty years. Children born in this year are said to be particularly lucky. I was born on a regular old Year of the Boar (1983). Oh well, you can't have everything.

The celebration of the Lunar New Year is big news in China, where millions of people are returning home to celebrate with their families. It's not as big a deal here in Japan, because the standard New Year's Day (January 1st) is the most important Japanese holiday. Still, I've seen a few news reports on television about the Year of the Boar, and the occasional boar decoration in Nagaoka.


For those of you that are into astrology, those born in the Year of the Boar (such as myself) are supposed to be very honest and pure of intention. We are also said to be intellectuals who set difficult goals, but sometimes find it hard to get along with others. For an ideal partner, we're supposed to choose someone born in the Year of the Rabbit, Tiger, Ram, or Rat, and avoid those born under the sign of the Snake, Monkey, or Rooster. The boar is a sign of abundance, but also of turbulence and disturbance. As the last of the animals in the Chinese Zodiac, the boar's month is December.

Abundance and turbulence...is that supposed to describe my plane flight back to America? Regardless, I hope that the upcoming Lunar Year isn't a complete "boar". ~Oyasumi!