Let Me Count The Ways...

~One of the many unusual aspects of the Japanese language is the way it counts objects. There are many different ways of expressing a certain number of objects, based on what category the object falls into. Each category has its own way of saying the number of objects. Confused? So am I. Here are some examples of different counting categories:

Default: 1. hitotsu, 2. futatsu, 3. mitsu, 4. yotsu, 5.itsutsu

For example, if someone asks you, "Isu ga ikutsu arimasu ka?" (How many chairs are there?), and there are two in the room, you would say, "Futatsu arimasu" (There are two).

The default method of counting objects is used for things that don't fall into the other categories (such as furniture). It can also be used in a pinch if you don't know the "proper" counting method.

People: 1. hitori, 2. futari, 3. sannin, 4. yonnin, 5. gonin...
~For example, in Japanese, "two people" is futari. However, since "nin" means person, counting people becomes easy after the first two.

Pairs of Footwear: 1. isoku, 2. nisoku, 3. sanzoku, 4. yonsoku, 5. gosoku...
~Also easy to remember, since "soku" sounds like "sock". But the "zo" in #3 throws me off, although it is easier to say than "sansoku", which is the whole point.

Small Animals (cat, fish, etc.): 1. ipiki, 2. nihiki, 3. sanbiki, 4. yonhiki, 5. gohiki...

Large Animals (horse, elephant, etc.): 1. itou, 2. nitou, 3. santou, 4. yontou, 5. gotou...

Machines: 1. ichidai, 2. nidai, 3. sandai, 4. yondai, 5. godai...

Some additional counting-method categories include books, fruits, long things, birds, flat things, hours, days, months, years, and (my personal favorite) cups with liquid in them. The method of counting is actually different if the cup is empty!

Considering all these different ways of counting, can you imagine the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" in Japanese?! Each set of gifts has its own method of counting...well, I suppose the hachinin (8) maids-a-milking, jyunin (10) lords-a-leaping, jyuichinin (11) pipers-piping, and the jyuninin (12) drummers-drumming would all fall under the category of "people".

Tricky, isn't it? Fortunately, you can always fall back on the default counting method. It may not sound as refined, but it gets the job done. ~Oyasumi!

Slippers

~A long time ago, I wrote about the Japanese custom of wearing slippers at work. To reiterate, most Japanese office workers do not wear shoes in their work areas, instead leaving their shoes in designated cabinets and donning soft slippers for indoor work. My school follows this rule as well, and I love it. It's so much more comfortable than wearing shoes all day, or only socks.

This custom is of particular value to me, because I spend half my day running around and playing games with young children. However, this does put a lot of wear and tear on the slippers I use. For example, here's a picture of my most recent pair:

^ They've seen better days, haven't they? It gets worse:

^ The bottom of my poor, poor slippers. As the Japanese would say, "boroboro!" (junk).

Last week I finally got around to replacing the "boroboro" slippers. As you would expect, slipper sales are big business in Japan. Everyone owns multiple sets of slippers: one set for home, one for work, family sets for use in the restroom, a set for light outdoor wear, and so forth.

Most supermarkets have an entire aisle dedicated to slippers, but I've found that shopping for them is difficult. This is because the average Japanese person is significantly smaller than the average American. I'm not very tall, but even so, I have to buy size LL (double-large) slippers! I don't think I've bought any other "L" size clothing in my entire life.

^ The new slippers I'm currently using. They cost me around five bucks. In a couple of months, they'll doubtless end up "boroboro" like their predecessors.

^ A closeup of the emblem on the slippers, which has a rooster and the words "BE NATURAL". I wanted the slippers that said "Nature Deity", but they didn't have any in my inordinately large size.

I enjoy being able to wear slippers in the workplace, so this is one Japanese custom that I'd like to import back to the U.S. ~Oyasumi!

Three For The Kill, Again!...and again, and again...

~The television in my apartment is set on "bilingual mode", which will pick up the English audio track of any bilingual broadcast. Usually, I watch the nine o'clock news which is broadcasted and translated live, and there are usually a couple of American movies every week.

As for everything else, there's really not much worth watching...much like American television, actually. The channels that I get are full of bizarre game shows, overblown romances, outlandish cooking shows, and rather prosaic nature documentaries (which are probably as close to nature as most Tokyo-dwellers get). There is one Japanese show, however, that I watch on a more-or-less regular basis: a samurai drama called "Matamata, Sanbiki ga Kiru" (Three For the Kill, Again!).

The reason I watch this show is the same reason that my Dad used to watch JAG: it happened to be on at the same time he happened to feel like watching TV. In my case, "Matamata, Sanbiki ga Kiru" happens to be on around the time I get up and am going through my standard startup sequence for work. Also, the main samurai character actually reminds me of my Dad, which I find vaguely amusing.

As best I can tell, the show is a spinoff of a movie called "Sanbiki ga Kiru", hence the addition of matamata ("again") to the name of the television series. Unfortunately, I was unable to find much information about the show, despite my best online sleuthing efforts. But fear not, o loyal readers, for you I went through the trouble of actually filming the best part of yesterday's episode. Please forgive the abysmal quality of this video, as it was made by recording the TV screen with my camera:

^ I just love how the ninja girl appears out of nowhere with a series of back flips. Ninja attack!

I honestly have no idea what's being said in the show. I can sometimes understand the odd word, or perhaps the basic gist of an individual sentence. However, the meaning of the conversations elude me (although I'm sure they involve much talk about honor/loyalty/discipline/rice). Fortunately, after (un)extensive research, I deduced that each episode follows roughly the same sequence, making individual episode plots redundant:

1. The main character (a samurai lord, wearing purple in the above video), is meeting some important people, discussing apparently serious matters with them. Although for all I know, they could be discussing haiku or the market price of squid.
2. A friend of the samurai lord is walking down the city streets on an urgent errand. He is attacked by thugs and fatally wounded.
3. The samurai lord is furious, but remains cool and detached. He visits some other, less-important samurai, and intimidates them into revealing who attacked his friend. The perpetrator turns out to be another powerful samurai who may be too strong to confront.
   
4. The hero goes home for dinner. While he is ruminating on his dilemma, his wife prepares Japanese tea and makes light conversation. Something she says gives the hero a sudden realization and/or inspiration.
   
5. Ignoring the tea, he storms out of his house and arrives at the villain's hideout, challenging him directly. A small army of minions appear and prepare to attack.
6. The hero draws his katana and goes into "battle stance" with his "glare of death". This is the cue for the battle theme music (with the violin) to begin playing.
7. The samurai battles dozens of warriors at once. His fighting style involves walking casually, then suddenly unleashing a lightning-fast slash or two that invariably kills somebody, then going back to walking. Wash, rinse, repeat. Occasionally, he throws out a "glare of death", which scares the pants off of the thugs.
   
8. Halfway through the fight, the hero finds himself somewhat pressed. At this point, his loyal ninja henchmen materialize and easily slaughter the remaining enemies.
9. The villain is either mercilessly butchered or escapes to fight another day, cursing the hero.
10. The plot skips forward to the next day, where it turns out that the injury of the hero's friend was not life-threatening, but was merely a flesh wound. Smiles and laughs for everyone!
    

That, in a nutshell, is the plot of the show. I've seen this same list of events happen a dozen times. And I'll watch the same thing happen again, because hey, that battle theme music is kind of catchy. ~Oyasumi!

M-m-m-MASK!

~While walking by the Civics Center in downtown Nagaoka, I noticed a display of strange-looking masks and other colorful items on display. Naturally, I took some pictures for everyone to look at:

^ The central display. For reference, the masks are designed to be worn, so they're a bit larger than a face.

^ A closer view of the red mask. It's actually supposed to be a lion (see below), although it looks more like a Chinese dragon to me.

^ A demonic Pinocchio! Actually, it reminds me a bit of Steve Martin from the movie "Roxanne", where he has a gigantic nose.

^ Another equally-disturbing mask. Have you ever heard the term "beak" used as a derogatory description of a large nose? Well, this mask makes that a literal reality.

^ Another display to the left of the center display. Aside from the mask, there are brightly-colored ornaments of some kind that I can't identify.

^ This item seems more whimsical than the scary masks. But just what is it? A toy?

I later asked one of the Civics Center staff members about the masks. She said that some of them were used for "shishimai", the Japanese Lion Dance. This is a traditional part of the New Year's festivities in Japan, where dancers wear masks and run around trying to "bite" children. The idea is that if a young child is bitten by the dancing lion, they will be blessed with good health for the rest of the year.

Perhaps you're wondering just what this "lion dance" looks like. Fear not, for By The Power of the Internet, I bring you a video:


^ I obviously did not make that video myself, but instead found it here. May you, too, be bitten by a lion! ~Oyasumi.

Chinglish

~For almost as long as this blog has been running, I've been periodically supplying you with Japanglish, screwed-up English used in Japan. This phenomenon is not strictly limited to Japan, however, and thanks to the efforts of several alert readers, I now bring you Chinglish.

As you might guess, Chinglish is the incorrect usage of English in China. In preparation for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, Chinese authorities have been trying to correct the more egregrious examples of Chinglish in the capital. Here are some examples I was able to locate on the internet:

^ I'm guessing that a computer was used to translate this menu, creating a selection so disturbing that English speakers will likely flee in terror. That is, unless you fancy some "Black mushrooms rape" or "The soil beans burns the beef". Click on the picture for a larger view of the menu.

^ The mouth of what? A tunnel? A river? A door? Or something worse?

^ I really don't want to know.

^ Is this some sort of comment on China's artificial devaluing of the yen to increase the trade gap between America anc China? Those damn communists!

^ Speaking of communists, this milk candy subtly insults decadent Western capitalist nations by declaring that it is the "commonaim of us".

^ Oh my god, they killed Rick and turned him into a snack! Or perhaps these snacks are only for people named Rick, like "Scooby Snacks". I suppose they taste good with "Potatp snack".

^ Wait...is this sign encouraging people to break the law?

Aside from Chinglish and Japanglish, there are other variations of English in other Asian nations. An example is "Singlish", the English dialect used in Singapore. Because Singapore was a British colony for many years (and remains a member of the British Commonwealth), English is one of the official languages spoken there. However, the "Singlish" dialect contains many words and expressions in Malay and Chinese that render it virtually unintelligible to a native English speaker. One of the teachers at my school grew up speaking Singlish in Singapore, although today her English is extremely good.

If you go to the 2008 Olympics, look around at any English you see and try to determine if Chinese efforts to correct Chinglish have succeeded. It will be interesting to see if their efforts have any impact in a city the size of Beijing. ~Oyasumi!

Book Review: --Sophie's World-- by Jostein Gaarder

~Today I bring you yet another book review, of Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder, an author from Norway. The book was translated into English by Paulette Møller, and the book became the #1 international bestseller in 1995 and remains enormously popular.

Sophie's World defies classification into a specific genre, so I'll give you a brief introduction to the plot. The story begins with the titular character, a young Norwegian girl named Sophie. One day, Sophie finds a letter in the mailbox addressed to her, which consists of only two simple questions:

Who are you?

and

Where does the world come from?

These "big questions" at first seem to have no answer, and Sophie, an intelligent girl, begins questioning her own life to a degree that most of us haven't done since we were children. She begins a correspondence with a mysterious individual who instructs her on the entire history of human philosophy. Sophie learns how philosophers throughout the ages have attempted to answer the questions that keep thinkers awake at night, and drive my younger sister absolutely crazy.

This may sound a bit dull to you, but if you think this is merely a basic introduction to philosophy, you're wrong. As Sophie's education continues, strange events begin to unfold and seemingly impossible events take place. Slowly, we as readers come to realize that what constitutes reality for Sophie may in fact be very different from our reality.

But is Sophie's world really so different from our own? I don't want to give away too much, but I will say this: the reality that Gaarder constructs in the novel is one in which all of the questions of existence are answered...although the answers are nothing like what you, or Sophie, would expect.

This novel is very deep, but it's brilliantly written in a way that's easy to read. Paulette Møller has given us an excellent English translation, although she sometimes uses worlds that are not in common usage in English (my favorite was "bagatelle"). At the very least, this expanded my vocabulary. Another useful aspect of the text is that the names of all the philosophers and scientists discussed in the novel are cast in bold text, making it easier to follow just what Sophie (and by default, the reader) is learning.

To summarize, Sophie's World is a fascinating, deep novel that may cause you to question your very existence and that of the world around you. This is a profound book that starts off as easy to read, but becomes more difficult to follow later on. Truly understanding what happens requires both an open mind and a significant amount of thought, so if you're looking for "beach reading" or "chicklit", this is not the book for you.

If, however, you're the kind of person that still asks "big questions" that nobody has answered to your satisfaction, then Sophie's World will delight and fascinate you. I have read many, many books in my life, and I can say without hesitation that Sophie's World is one of the best books I've ever read. If you do read it (or have read it), then please share your thoughts with me. ~Oyasumi!