COROT Mission Launched

~And now for some news...in SCIENCE! A space telescope called "Corot" (COnvection, ROtation and planetary Transits) was launched from Kazakhstan on December 27th to search for more planets beyond our solar system.

For those of you behind the times, extrasolar planets have already been discovered by the hundreds (209 at the most recent count!), but most of them are very strange compared to the planets near Earth. Planets astronomers have found orbiting other stars tend to be massive, typically several times the size of Jupiter (the largest planet in our solar system). Most also orbit very close to a star, making them intensely hot. The Corot mission planners hope to locate more "Earth-like" planets; the smallest "exoplanet" found so far is five times the size of Earth.

How it works: the telescope will peer at distant stars, looking for tiny decreases in light caused by a planet passing between the star and the telescope's line of sight. Because this is such a rare event, the telescope will survey tens of thousands of stars in the Milky Way galaxy.

The mission also has a second objective: to learn more about stars themselves. It will do this with a fascinating technique called "stellar seismology", which involves measuring sound waves that ripple across the surface of stars (let's call them "starquakes") to infer what lies deeper in the stellar interior. Although the basic physics of stellar anatomy are well-known, the actual composition and structure of stars beyond our own sun is in many was still a mystery.

The Corot mission is scheduled to last for 2.5 years. I hope the telescope will find many new planets and help astronomers learn more about what makes stars tick. I'll be following this mission with great interest. ~Oyasumi!

On The Fourth Day of Christmas...

~Somehow, I managed to survive to New Year's vacation (oshogatsu). It's the last of the three major vacations in the Japanese work year (the other two are Golden Week and Obon). I hope to do some skiing later, but for now, it's time to relax and keep out of the slushy, sorry excuse for snow that's trickling down from the sky.

Two weeks ago, I wrote a bit about the Japanese tradition of the "wishing tree", where children write down their holiday wishes and attach them to a paper tree on the wall. Inspired by this, I made my own wishing tree and had my students write down their wishes. Just for fun, I had them draw pictures of what they wanted. Here are pictures of some of the more amusing holiday wishes:

^ Video games are always in-demand among this demographic. This student wants a Pokemon game for the Nintendo DS, and regaled me with more information than I ever wanted to know about this particular creature.

^ This student had a slightly more sensible want. Because he's in a more advanced class, I had him write out "I hope to get..." rather than a simple "I want...".

^ Awww, how cute is this? Give the kid a dog, immediately!

^ Yet another sensible present. While at first asking for a pen might seem a bit under-achieving, there is more to the story. This picture was drawn on the day after Christmas; I think she interpreted the question as "What did you get for Christmas?", rather than, "What do you want for Christmas?"...which, to be fair, would confused me if I was in her situation.

My attempts to replace the idea of Christmas presents with New Year's gifts proved futile; Japanese children get money for New Year's, and find it difficult to imagine getting anything else.

^ I was confused at first by this student's answer; after all, what child dreams of getting a table? But she was adamant about it, wanting a very particular low table with a pig design on it. Bu, bu!

^ I'm sure you can guess which student made this Christmas wish for a "Dorcas Titanus Palawanicus" (spelling corrected), a rare beetle from the Philippines. Compare the above unfinished drawing with the real thing. Not bad!

Out of curiosity, I asked him a few questions about his beetle collection. He says that he keeps them in jars in his garage and feeds them banana slices every two days. He added that his father is also interested in beetles, but his mother quite sensibly forbids them from being brought into the house. ~Oyasumi!

Your Command is My Wish

~Remember a time, over a decade ago, when the Russians were our worst enemies? Now they're our bestest friends in the world, but it wasn't always so. Imagine, if you will, an alternate timeline, where things are just a little different...

^ This has got to be the single greatest game introduction movie of all time. Almost every line of this ridiculously overblown movie is comedy gold. It's so good that several lines have become part of my own lexicon, just like the AFI's list of the best 100 movie quotes (despite the disturbing lack of "Game over, man, game over!" on the list). Here are some of the ones that I, in my insanity, have actually used:

• "Why Mr. ----, whatever do you mean?"

• "We're supposed to be allies, you maniac!

• "I have my legacy to consider!"

• "I don't give a wooden nickel about your ----!"

• "Oh, don't be so sure, Mr.----."

• "No, comrade ----, it has merely begun."

...and in college, I sometimes answered the phone to, "Missile Command!"

You know, if only the voters in that alternate timeline had voted in Michael Wilson for President of the United States, those commies would have never stood a chance. They'd probably be too afraid to attack in the first place. ~Oyasumi!

Two Gorilla Thrillas

~As a Christmas present, my grandparents sent me a DVD containing two old movies from well before I was born. The titles of the films are "The White Gorilla" (1945) and "Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla" (1952). I must admit that I haven't found the time to watch them yet, but the writing on the back of the DVD case alone made it a great gift! I just have to share these descriptions with you.

Great galloping gorillas! It's monkey mayhem and ape adventure all collected here on this hairy creature double feature! Whether you watch it from a sofa, a cage, or a swinging jungle home, these monkey movies will toss a great heaping handful of fun your way! Guaranteed to be more exciting that a baboon in a banana factory and more thrilling than a chimp in a tire store, you won't need a yellow hat to love these awesome movies!

[First, we have "The White Gorilla":]

The White Gorilla Action hero Ray "Crash" Corrigan stars in this thrilling tale of gorilla vs. the world. When a rare white gorilla is outcast by the other gorillas, he goes on a rampage - an angry rebellion that troubles both the other jungle animals as well as humans. In an exciting climax, the aberrant ape must battle the evil leader of the gorilla band in order to gain the acceptance that will change his destructive behavior and ensure his rightful place within the gorilla community.

[Next is "Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla":]

Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (aka The Boys from Brookyln) Horror legend Bela Lugosi stars in this action comedy featuring exotic locations and exciting adventure. When two entertainers land on a South Sea Island, they find themselves wrapped up in mysterious events centering around the terrible monkey-centric ideas of a particularly mad scientist, Dr. Zabor. Can the poor castaways escape, or are they doomed to a life of nit-picking and knuckle-walking?
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Just reading these film descriptions had me laughing hysterically. If the movies are half as amusing, watching them will be time well spent. When I do get around to viewing them, I'll be sure to give you, my eternally-loyal readers, full reviews! ~Oyasumi.

Where Is My White Christmas?!

~When I interviewed for my company, over a year ago, I had to fly all the way up to Chicago for a couple of days. The night that I arrived, a blizzard hit the city, and when I woke up in my hotel, everything was white, freezing cold, and the snow was still coming down. It was very beautiful, but mostly because of the contrast with North Carolina. My home state, in mid-December, was still quite warm during the day, and the thrice-damned lawn grass was *still* growing!

At the end of my interview, the recruiter asked my what kind of location in Japan I'd prefer to live in. I said that I would prefer to live in a smaller city, as opposed to a metropolis like Tokyo or Osaka. I also said that I enjoyed winter sports such as skiing and would like to live in a colder area rather than a warmer one. I was hoping, you see, that I'd get to enjoy a snowy Christmas like there would be in Chicago, rather than the "hit the beach!" weather we were having in N.C.

Oh Nagaoka, how you have disappointed me! On Christmas day, an unexpected warm front moved in thanks to a high-pressure system over eastern China. As a result, today was so warm that I actually opened my balcony door to let in the air. I hung up my futons outside to air them out. I forewent my scarf and later took off my gloves while riding my bicycle. It was so accursedly bright and sunny that I actually wore my sunglasses, not to dim glare from the nonexistent snow, but from the setting sun over the mountains.

The warm weather has been causing a lot of problems for ski towns and resorts. Oh, sure, we'll probably be under two meters of snow in a few weeks, but it's the lost time that's hurting them. There simply won't be as many people over the course of the season who book rooms, rent equipment, and get lift tickets. Golf courses, on the other hand, are doing quite well!

Japanese meteorologists and climatologists are chalking this oddly mild winter up to El Niño, which you've probably heard of before. It's a shift in the tropical Pacific climate caused by a weakening of easterly trade winds and the resulting easterly shift in ocean currents towards South America. Initially, the term only referred to a weak, yearly mild period in the South American mid-winter, but over the past few decades, El Niño has become increasingly stronger and more frequent, and nobody is quite sure why.

What is known is that it's changing global weather patterns, changing where and when warm and cold weather occurs, and also shifting rainfall patterns. Is it a result of man-made global warming? Solar activity? Natural climate change? Who knows?

What matters is that here in Niigata prefecture, we've had a snowless Christmas, and I for one feel a bit cheated. I say, "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!...please." ~Merii Kurisumasu!

[Check back in two weeks, when I beg for forgiveness and wish to stop, stop the snow!]

Putting Life In Perspective

~This is just a quick post to say Merry Christmas to everyone! Right now, I'm in the middle of reading one of my favorite books: A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, which I re-read every year around this time. It helps me put my life in perspective. Besides, every time Scrooge says "Humbug!", for some reason I can't help but laugh.

Speaking of putting things in perspective, I thought I'd list a few of the things that I'm thankful for (since I didn't for Thanksgiving). Without further ado:

I am thankful...

1. For my wonderful family that cares about me very much and whom I care about a great deal.

2. That I have a good job with friendly co-workers that isn't mind-numbingly boring.

3. That I always have enough food to eat and warm clothes to wear, in a world where so many people sadly do not.

4. For my health. After all, if you don't have your health, you don't have anything.

5. For my great friends, both the ones back in America and the friends I've made in Japan.

6. That I have my own place to live. I am glad I have a place to go home to each day that is mine and mine alone.

7. That I live in a world where I can speak with someone on the other side of the planet simply by pressing a few buttons. Brilliant!

8. For pasta. Tomorrow's dinner will be Christmas-themed pasta, in the shapes of little trees, presents, and Santas, topped with tomato sauce and parmesan cheese, with chicken, vegetables, a side of garlic bread, and a tall glass of Ovaltine. Mmm, now I'm getting hungry again...

As you can see, my thanks list got a bit humorous again, but it's all true. However, I haven't explained the reason why I always re-read A Christmas Carol. It's not to laugh at the dialog, or even to get "in a Christmas mood".

You see, when I look around at the world, I have a tendency to be somewhat pessimistic, seeing all the horrible things that go on and the terrible people that live, it seems, only to take advantage of others. I am truly thankful that I am not one of these people. I'm far from perfect, but it makes me happy that I'm not like Scrooge initially is, that I'm not overwhelmingly greedy and selfish...most of the time.

Perhaps this makes me a failure by the standards of society, which to me seems focused only on the acquisition of more, more, more (which is what Christmas has evolved into, it seems). Quite frankly, I don't need all that much to be happy. Does that mean that I'm here to be exploited by the greedy, as Scrooge did do his employee, Bob Cratchit?

I certainly hope not. Just as Scrooge is able to change his life, so to do I believe that we all have the potential to do so. I just wish certain people would get around to it a bit faster. ~Merii Kurisumasu!