Vending Machine Madness

~Here's a mental exercise for you: think back to the last time you used a vending machine. You probably remember digging out a dollar bill and smoothing it out, then trying to feed it into a Coke or Pepsi machine. Naturally, the machine spat out your dollar, forcing you to re-fold it (several times). Most likely, half of the drinks were sold out, leaving you with only two or three choices. Or maybe you wanted a snack, but your Doritos (or whatever) didn't...quite...make it out of the machine, leaving you there pounding the plexiglass with blind rage until you were hauled away by other hunger-maddened citizens...

Ahem. Sorry, just reliving a college moment.

Over here in Japan, things are a bit different. Vending machines here are everywhere: in front of stores, on sidewalks, in train stations, in office buildings--everywhere! And to my inexperienced gaijin eyes, they are impressive:

^A quick count of the items sold by this vending machine gave me 27 different products, including water, juice, soda, green tea, milk tea, energy drinks, and coffee (both hot and cold). The machine will accept both coins and bills, but almost everyone uses coins. This is because of the immensely useful 100- and 500-yen coins which everyone uses (unlike a certain gold coin in the U.S.).

^ Many gaijin in Japan become extremely spoiled by the wide availability of hot, ready-to-drink canned coffee, which can be found in a vending machine every ten feet or so (or at least, it seems that way). How many of you can't get through the day without your caffeine fix? Now imagine being able to have a hot, high-quality cafe latte whenever you want, for about a dollar per can. Now you know how the Japanese are able to put in those loooong hours at work!

^Of course, if you prefer coffee (or hot tea...or iced tea...or green tea) of the non-canned variety, you have a choice there as well.














^ If you're not in the mood for a drink, there are vending machines all over the place that sell ice cream!











^ I found these vending machines in a hallway of Yu Ai no Oka. Forgot your toothbrush or razor? No problem; these machines will happily dispense new items for a small fee! What's that? You were expecting complementary toiletries in your bathroom? Oh, you poor, misguided soul...











^ If you forgot soap or shampoo, it's going to cost you another 200 yen for each item. Strangely, this whole vending machine thing doesn't seem quite so attractive anymore. Or maybe I'm still amused by how bare-bones the amenities at Yu Ai no Oka were.

Now, for what you've ALL been waiting for:














^ The legendary beer vending machines! That's right, kids, no matter how young you are, you can get wasted with no more effort than it takes to pop a coin or two into a slot. In Japan, the legal drinking age is 20, so you have to be that old to buy alcohol in stores...but these machines make a mockery of such petty ordinances. You can bet that my high school students get a lot of use out of these machines.

Kirin and Asahi are the two largest brewery companies in Japan. Kirin, in particular, is ubiquitous: they have a contract with Coca-Cola to bottle and distribute all Coke products in Japan, and they also sell most of the canned coffee under various subsidiaries. They're like the Microsoft of the Japanese beverage world. As for Asahi, they control the largest share of the Japanese beer market (~50%). I love their motto: "Smooth and Tasty", which you can see on the cans in the above right picture.

One interesting fact to note about the beer machines is that most of them will turn off at night (when the kids presumably want to drink). I assume there's a regulation of some kind dictating what hours alcohol-dispensing machines can be active.

Despite the "beer boxes", the widespread presence of vending machines in Japan isn't all peaches-and-cream. It does have a darker side:

^ Cigarette vending machines are everywhere. They see much, much more business than the regular drink machines, or even the coffee machines. There's one right outside of the school I teach at...and it's a children's school! Smoking is deeply ingrained into the culture here, and almost every adult male in Japan smokes.

I have this one student, a high school girl, who has severe asthma. She told me that her father smokes two packs of cigarettes a day...in the house! I can't fathom how a parent can do this while their child has a respiratory problem. Oh, and I forgot to mention, he's a doctor.

With that depressing thought, here's some Japanglish to lighten your day:

^ If you've been reading my blog, you know by now that Japanese advertisements often include (and butcher) English words, simply to add a touch of class. Pocari Sweat, a brand of energy drink, is a classic example. The word "sweat" is supposed to make you associate the drink with playing sports, and that's exactly what the average Japanese person will think. However, a native English speaker would never even remotely associate the word "sweat" with a refreshing drink! The word "Pocari" is completely meaningless in Japanese; I guess it's just supposed to sound cool. ~Oyasumi!

Ozzie ozzie ozzie!

^Australia has just won a smashing 3-1 victory over Japan in the World Cup tournament! This is the first-ever win for Australia in the world cup (in fact, it's the first goals they've ever scored). Why should I care about this? Because, a) I live in Japan, and b) for the game, a friend of mine from Down Under invited me to become an honorary Ozzie!

^ Things were looking grim for Australia as Japan scored the first goal 26 minutes into the game. The one-goal deficit hung over the Ozzies and they grew increasingly desperate as the clock ticked on...

^The Australians registered more than three times as many shots on the goal as the Japanese team, but the superb Japanese goalkeeper caught or deflected every shot...for most of the game.

^With only nine minutes remaining, Tim Cahill scored Australia's first ever goal for his team in a World Cup tournament. He then scored again, and John Aloisi put the nail in the coffin for Japan with an amazing third goal. What a comeback for the Ozzies! Let's all sing together now: "Waltzing Matilda, walllltzing Matilllllda...."

^ The Ozzie supporters in the stadium went a little crazy towards the end, as you might imagine. We Australians like to party hard. Here's a Sentence of the Post for you: "Subarashi shiai deshta ne!" (What an excellent game!).

^The confidence of the Japanese team seemed to shatter after Australia scored their first goal, tying the game 1-1. Their defense deteriorated and they let two more goals slip through. Having dishonored their country, I imagine that they will soon be committing seppuku. I doubt that my sports fanatic student will take this well.

This Sunday (June 18th), Australia faces Brazil, which is the #1 soccer team in the world, having won the World Cup more times than any other nation. But you can bet that I'll be rooting for the Ozzies next week. ~Oyasumi!