It's Not Exactly Shaolin Soccer

~Despite their team's victory in the 2006 Wold Cup, Italian soccer has taken a beating of late. Numerous match-fixing scandals have reduced public confidence, and a particularly nasty riot in Sicily left a policeman dead and national matches canceled.

Fortunately, the Catholic Church is riding to the rescue by organizing a soccer tournament comprised of 311 priests, monks, and students from 50 nations, divided into 16 different teams. Needless to say, they hope to restore some "faith" to soccer in Italy, where soccer is practically as much a religion as the Church.

This is almost as good as the groups of rival, crowbar-wielding monks that were fighting over a monastery in Greece a few months ago. I looked around on the Internet but was unable to find out who won the fight. My guess is that they all found something better to do. Incidentally, "The Crowbar Monks" would be an excellent name for a rock band.

Anyway, the name of the soccer tournament is the Clericus Cup, which is also the award for the victorious team. The Cup runs through June, with most matches scheduled to take place at a Vatican soccer field. Interestingly, the match rules will differ slightly from professional soccer, with teams allowed only one timeout and the referees able to use blue cards in addition to the standard yellow and red cards (a blue card results in a 5-minute suspension). Apparently absent are any regulations on mid-match prayer or attempts to bribe the "big ref in the sky".

The first scheduled match takes place tomorrow (February 24), when Pontifical Gregorian University plays Pontifical International College Maria Mater Ecclesiae.

The Cup is being organized by Cardinal Bertone, the Vatican Secretary of State, who said: "I insisted to the managers in charge of the lads that the games should not overlap with Mass." Hence, matches will only be held on weekdays. ~Oyasumi!